0 mg of Cyclosporine! { Day +150 }

On my last appointment for check-up, I was told that I can stop my Cyclosporine in a week. And today is first day not taking this medicine. There are lots to expect. On my November 21st post, I mentioned that...

FACTS: Cyclosporine is use to prevent or treat organ rejection and to prevent graft-vs-host disease (GVHD) in transplant patients.

...it feels good to lessen the pills I swallow everyday. Hopefully, it is also good for my body. I mean, hopefully, there will be no rejection or graft-vs-host disease.

9 In all their affliction He was afflicted,

And the Angel of His Presence saved them;

In His love and in His pity He redeemed them;

And He bore them and carried them

All the days of old.

Isaiah 63:9

I do believe that He is still in control...

And He will do it again,

He'll do it again. He will do it again.

If you just take a look

At where you're now

And where you've been.

Hasn't He always come through for you?

He's the same now as then.

You may not know how,

You may not know when,

But He'll do it again.

Down to 25 mg! { Day +145 }

My appointment went fine. Okay! good rather than just fine. The results are great but it seems that my Liver Functions are going up. Hopefully, on my next appointment, it stays on normal range.

The Cyclosporine I take twice a day is now reduce to 25 mg. If you remember it started at 125 mg. So far so good! God is really good! All the time :)


---February 21st Results---

Blood Pressure
Systolic - 90 (normal range = 90 to 135)
Diastolic - 75 (normal range = 50 to 90)

Complete Blood Count
HGB – 114 (normal range = 120 to 160)
PLT – 228
WBC - 5.2
Neut - 3.6
Mg - 0.71
Creat - 58
CMV - negative

Liver Functions
ALB - Not Available
ALT - 32
ALP - 52
AST - 30
TBili - 4

Legend:
Green: Normal
Yellow: Abnormal
Red: Critical

Next Appointment: March 7th

My Hairs Are Numbered! { Day +141}

I was asked to give a testimony last Saturday at Mt. Zion Church. Here it goes...

Everyone has their own trials and hardships now and then…but in Philippians 4:13, it says, “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me”. I want to share with you some pictures that probably very few people have seen. (I showed pictures using powerpoint at church, but I am not brave enough to show the world my hairless head :) maybe next time)

As many of you might remember, I used to have long hair. When I was diagnosed, I decided to cut it short for I knew that I will lose it anyway from the chemotherapy I had to go through.

But the short hair is making a big mess on my bed and the whole room. Wherever I go, it just kept shredding. So I decided to shave it all.

So when I first got home from hospital, I was hairless. As time goes by, my hair started to grow. It was still very short when it was time for me to go back to the hospital for my bone marrow transplant.

Eight days before the transplant, I started chemotherapy again and on the transplant day, I also had whole body radiation. After so many medications, chemotherapy and radiation, I started to lose my hair again, for the second time. But this time, shaving was not needed. Before the nurses had the chance to shave my head, they all fell off. That’s how toxic the chemotherapy I had, before the transplant. The side effects of this chemotherapy were expected to be worse than the previous chemo I had. But then I felt very minor side effects. I remembered when I was still in the hospital, one of the nurses whispered to me that I had the most successful transplant in the floor. Not only that, my first few check-ups, I met a lot of bone marrow transplant patients who could not believed that I just had my transplant. Another person even told me, if not with my hairless head, she wouldn’t say I was sick. But I know my limitations and I know that my energy will not be back the way it was for another year or so.

40 days from now, it will be a year since I was given 2-months to live because of the aggressiveness of my Leukemia. And it’s been 140 days since I had the bone marrow transplant. Here I am in front of you still believed that God is the master plan. Ever since, God is always there for me, making things easier on me and making the bone marrow not to fail. I just know because I believe He is the only God who can make things right. In Luke 18:27 Jesus replied, "What is impossible with men is possible with God."

When I left the hospital, I was taking at least 20 pills a day and it is now down to 10 pills a day. As you can see, my hair is growing back again. No wig or broken hair as Jensine calls it. Definitely, He still knows the numbers of my hairs, doesn’t matter if this is my first or second time my hair will grow. Matthew 10:29-30 (New King James Version) Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. It is not important how many times I get sick or how many times I will lose my hair, the Almighty God, the Great Physician, our Father and our Saviour, who holds tomorrow, also holds my hands. My life is in His hands. My ordeal may not be finished yet but there is something I can look forward to…when God takes me by the hand and leads me through the Promise Land.

V Day! { Day +138 }

The day of hearts had passed...

My beloved husband, Jerson, picked me up after work, so we can eat out. We went to Spring Rolls to have dinner. Jerson had "Bun Sate Ga Lui" (Satay chicken with peanut sauce), Vegetable Spring Rolls and Mango Shake. I enjoyed my Chicken Shanghai Noodles, Vegetable Spring Rolls and Bubble Tea. Ahh, just looking back...this happened last year.

This year, I was at PMH for my check-up and the only person who picked me up was the volunteer driver from Canadian Cancer Society. I was in bed because of my headache.

I had this bad headache again, since Monday night until this morning. And because of that, my doctor told me that he wants to see me in a week. Yeah, in a week. He's a little bit concern about this headache of mine. I guess it's okay... Other than that, counts are okay...

---February 14th Results---

Blood Pressure
Systolic - 150 (normal range = 90 to 135)
Diastolic - 100 (normal range = 50 to 90)

Complete Blood Count
HGB – 114 (normal range = 120 to 160)
PLT – 227
WBC - 4.4
Neut - 3.1
Mg - 0.75
Creat - 70
CMV - negative

Liver Functions
ALB - Not Available
ALT - 28
ALP - 52
AST - 28
TBili - 7

Legend:
Green: Normal
Yellow: Abnormal
Red: Critical

Next Appointment: February 21st

Are You Blessed? { Day +133 }

Devotional Scripture for today:

16 Be joyful always;

17 pray continually;

18 give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (New International Version)

How are you this morning? How are you everyday? Are you happy? Are you thankful? Do you continually pray even on your darkest days? Do you feel blessed for everything, for who you are, for the people around you, for everything that's going on with you and your life?

We should...because

My life is in your hands
my heart is in your keeping
I'm never without hope
not when my future is with you
My life is in your hands and though I may not see clearly
I will life my voice and sing,
cause your love does amazing things
Lord, I know my life is in your hands.

As suggested on the Devotional book I am reading, list 10 reasons that you are lucky person or should I say blessed person --- and praise the Lord!

Here I Am... { Day +130 }

Here I am, Lord.

Is it I, Lord?

I have heard you calling in the night.

I will go, Lord, if you lead me.

I will hold your people in my heart.

I always pray that God will use me, that I can make a difference in the lives of the people around me. Until I got sick, I know God did not give me Leukemia. But I thought God let things happen for a reason and His plans for me is for the best. One day, I thought maybe this is it...He used me to show the people that there is hope with God. That miracles happen if only we believe.

I've heard a lot of people told me how I did inspired them for my faith. And that's very nice to hear that I've made them feel that way. But we all know that it was not just me that I am still alive. Because God can do the impossible things.

I have this e-mail friend, who told me that "
Maybe I'm telling you to take the initiative and tell people you love them and hopefully, they'll do the same thing for you." I guess, he was telling me to do the things that matter, to tell my love ones how much I love them. I hope I did that already. I mean, there are more than a couple of times that I was told I would not make it. And I already realized that if a normal person "
could get run over by a "pison" this afternoon while biking home", I am already walking on the side of a highway. Only God knows. This is not a bad suggestions at all, this is exactly what I said on my previous posting but...

In my mind, there's more than saying I love yous, I want people to know who helped me all through these time. That people see Jesus in me...That His light will shine through me...

I may have not accomplish it yet but I still pray that He will still use me in a way He knows I can...

PHILIPPIANS 4:13
I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.

The road to success is not straight.

There is a curve called Failure,

a loop called Confusion,
speed bumps called Friends,

red lights called Enemies,

caution lights called Family.

You will have flats called Jobs.

But, if you have a spare called Determination,

an engine called Perseverance,
insurance called Faith,

a driver called Jesus,

you will make it to a place called Success.

I Feel What You Felt... { Day +125 }

Ten months ago, the doctor said, "95%, I believe you have Leukemia". It was very shocking to hear that news. Little thing I knew about Luekemia, I thought of the worst, my days were counted and that there's nothing else I can do...

I never thought what my husband felt that time nor my sisters, my father, my in-laws. But I know they were sad. How about what my other relatives and friends felt? It didn't occur to my mind what these people felt when they knew about my sickness, until yesterday.

Yesterday, I heard that one of the bone marrow transplant patient who became an acquaintance, will not coming back for check-ups. Waiting for the results of our blood test every Tuesday, I had a good chance to talk to him as well as his wife. This is how I became familiar to this couple. Since my appointment was changed to every other week, there are Tuesdays that I was there but they were not and vice versa. I lost communication to them, in short. Then I heard that he was given 3-6 months to live. The news was upsetting, shocking, devastating, It was so sad.

Now I know how hard it is to know that a friend is not doing well. What more if he/she is the love of your life? It was two different feeling, I know. But there's no exact words to convey.

...yes, I might feel helpless and there's nothing I can do when I was first told about my Leukemia, but God can do anything.

REFLECTIONS: How about you? Have you thought how you should react if you were given months to live? Maybe not just react but have you thought of what things you should be doing. I've asked myself same thing, and I am sure 6 months is not enough for the things I need to do. We know this is something out of the ordinary but I think we should be praying for what our purpose here on earth while we are living. Let's just think, there must be a reason why we are here, what could that be? Or think about the things we could do now...

If I knew it would be the last time I'd see you fall asleep,

I'd tuck you in more tightly, And pray your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time I'd see you walk out the door,

I'd hug you and kiss you--and call you Back for just one more.

If I knew it would be the last time We'd spare a minute or two,

I'd stop and say "I love you," Instead of assuming you know I do.

If I knew it would be the last time I'd be there to share your day,

I wouldn't wait until tomorrow, Letting time with you slip away.

For surely there is a tomorrow To make up for an oversight,

And we'll always get a second chance To make everything all right.

There will always be another chance To say our "I love yous,"

And certainly there's another chance To say our "What I can dos."

But just in case I might be wrong, And today is all I get,

I'd like to say I love you, And hope you never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, Young or old alike,

And today might be your last chance To hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow, Why not do it all today?

For if tomorrow never comes, You will surely regret the day

You didn't take the extra time For a smile or hug or kiss.

And you surely aren't too busy to grant What may be their last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today, And whisper in their ear;

Tell them how much you love them, And that you'll always hold them dear.

Take the time to say "I'm sorry," "Forgive me," or "It's okay,"

And if tomorrow never comes, You'll have no regrets about today.

(taken from Godswork)

---January 31st Results---

Blood Pressure
Systolic - 125 (normal range = 90 to 135)
Diastolic - 90 (normal range = 50 to 90)

Complete Blood Count
HGB – 112 (normal range = 120 to 160)
PLT – 236
WBC - 5.1
Neut - 3.4
Mg - 0.69
Creat - 68
CMV - negative

Liver Functions
ALB - Not Available
ALT - 29
ALP - 49
AST - 25
TBili - 6

Legend:
Green: Normal
Yellow: Abnormal
Red: Critical

Next Appointment: February 14th