I Feel What You Felt... { Day +125 }

Ten months ago, the doctor said, "95%, I believe you have Leukemia". It was very shocking to hear that news. Little thing I knew about Luekemia, I thought of the worst, my days were counted and that there's nothing else I can do...

I never thought what my husband felt that time nor my sisters, my father, my in-laws. But I know they were sad. How about what my other relatives and friends felt? It didn't occur to my mind what these people felt when they knew about my sickness, until yesterday.

Yesterday, I heard that one of the bone marrow transplant patient who became an acquaintance, will not coming back for check-ups. Waiting for the results of our blood test every Tuesday, I had a good chance to talk to him as well as his wife. This is how I became familiar to this couple. Since my appointment was changed to every other week, there are Tuesdays that I was there but they were not and vice versa. I lost communication to them, in short. Then I heard that he was given 3-6 months to live. The news was upsetting, shocking, devastating, It was so sad.

Now I know how hard it is to know that a friend is not doing well. What more if he/she is the love of your life? It was two different feeling, I know. But there's no exact words to convey.

...yes, I might feel helpless and there's nothing I can do when I was first told about my Leukemia, but God can do anything.

REFLECTIONS: How about you? Have you thought how you should react if you were given months to live? Maybe not just react but have you thought of what things you should be doing. I've asked myself same thing, and I am sure 6 months is not enough for the things I need to do. We know this is something out of the ordinary but I think we should be praying for what our purpose here on earth while we are living. Let's just think, there must be a reason why we are here, what could that be? Or think about the things we could do now...

If I knew it would be the last time I'd see you fall asleep,

I'd tuck you in more tightly, And pray your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time I'd see you walk out the door,

I'd hug you and kiss you--and call you Back for just one more.

If I knew it would be the last time We'd spare a minute or two,

I'd stop and say "I love you," Instead of assuming you know I do.

If I knew it would be the last time I'd be there to share your day,

I wouldn't wait until tomorrow, Letting time with you slip away.

For surely there is a tomorrow To make up for an oversight,

And we'll always get a second chance To make everything all right.

There will always be another chance To say our "I love yous,"

And certainly there's another chance To say our "What I can dos."

But just in case I might be wrong, And today is all I get,

I'd like to say I love you, And hope you never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, Young or old alike,

And today might be your last chance To hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow, Why not do it all today?

For if tomorrow never comes, You will surely regret the day

You didn't take the extra time For a smile or hug or kiss.

And you surely aren't too busy to grant What may be their last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today, And whisper in their ear;

Tell them how much you love them, And that you'll always hold them dear.

Take the time to say "I'm sorry," "Forgive me," or "It's okay,"

And if tomorrow never comes, You'll have no regrets about today.

(taken from Godswork)

---January 31st Results---

Blood Pressure
Systolic - 125 (normal range = 90 to 135)
Diastolic - 90 (normal range = 50 to 90)

Complete Blood Count
HGB – 112 (normal range = 120 to 160)
PLT – 236
WBC - 5.1
Neut - 3.4
Mg - 0.69
Creat - 68
CMV - negative

Liver Functions
ALB - Not Available
ALT - 29
ALP - 49
AST - 25
TBili - 6

Legend:
Green: Normal
Yellow: Abnormal
Red: Critical

Next Appointment: February 14th